Colonialization has influenced our view of sex and social norms for hundreds of years. According to Caltech’s Philip Hoffman, Europe (8% of the world’s landmass) conquered or colonized 80% of the entire world from 1492 to 1914 because of their rapid advancements in gunpowder for weapons.
Along with the colonization came the creation of “the other.” How else could we justify our dominance over other human beings. A civilized-savage spectrum was created for us in our conquests of virgin territories. Sex was a key indicator that Europeans could use to assess the people in new lands. Whether they met the standards of chased women, single man/women unions in monogamous marriages, modest dress, and the correct expression of “male” attributes.
Our men had to project themselves from “women” tempting them with their unclothed bodies. The missionaries couldn’t abide. Women in Europe during this time were quiet, chased, uneducated, and dominated by male family members. There was a strict hierarchy of the aristocracy over the commoner and men over women.
New territories did NOT have the same sexual rules as Europe. This was easily recognized, and therefore easily judged and assessed. Focused on fixing this problem, we didn’t have to deal with the morale dilemma of taking other’s land, autonomy, and riches. We were, after all, saving them from damnation.
Polygamy, homosexuality, transexual identity all pointed to fear of being contaminated by the other and losing our way. The Church could have none of it. Laws and regulations were put in place to move the wayward people to a place of moral alignment with European sensibility.
Exploration led to fetishization of cultures. The mysterious east was feminine, their women mysterious, meek, and subservient. Africans with little clothing, naked breasts and butts were obviously hypersexual. Men of India with smaller hands and long dress were obviously less manly and ripe for conquest.
Below are a couple of articles that go into more detail than I can here. This research has started to open my eyes to how 400+ years of conquest set in motion the conversations and rules we have today around sexuality. When we forget or are not aware of history, within a generation or two, the views of society appear to have always been this way. Rules we had no hand in creating run our lives.
The explorers and conquerors looked through their “lens” at the world. They saw and judged by that view and proceeded in the only way they knew how. We must stop and consider:
· What lens do we look through to see the world?
· What judgements do we hold of right and wrong? (Especially in the realm of sexuality)
· What is absolutely true for me?
· What one thing do I currently not understand, could I wonder about it for a while and see what shows up?
· What have I always wanted to do but told myself “There’s no way, what would people think?”
Today is the day to start looking at all the things society says we need to do, can’t do, and what doesn’t even enter our mind as doable. We have gotten to a place of intolerance as if what someone else does actually hurts us. Stop and ask, “does that really hurt me?” In the sexual arena of today, we could actually start accepting that people maybe think and feel differently than we do, and that could be valid. Just because I’m comfortable with being a woman living in a women’s body doesn’t mean everyone is. How horrible it must be to feel uncomfortable or misaligned within one’s body. How many of us even when aligned, don’t like their body? It’s taken me a long time to love my body, just the way it is and just the way it isn’t.
If I could wave a magic wand and do one thing for humanity, I would have people love their bodies (or at least be at peace with them). I laugh when thinking of all the cool things we could be up to if we weren’t wondering if our boobs should be larger/smaller, our faces are too wrinkled, our dick is not big/small enough for whatever, our eyelashes aren’t thick and lush, what diet I should be, and on and on. We have been brainwashed into thinking that we need to fix ourselves to be happy.
Be happy just the way you are! Fashions change, what’s beautiful today is old news tomorrow. Who the F… cares? There are more important things to think about, lol.
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